Children’s Liturgy of the Word Guide: The Creed

This post is part of a series on doing Liturgy of the Word with Children.

After the explanation of the Scriptures (homily) the entire gathering of children responds to God’s Revelation to us by praying the Creed as one Body of Christ. As the General Instructions of the Roman Mission explain:

The purpose of the Creed or Profession of Faith is that the whole gathered people may respond to the Word of God proclaimed in the readings taken from Sacred Scripture and explained in the Homily and that they may also honor and confess the great mysteries of the faith 

GIRM, para. 67

For younger children, especially those who are not yet of reading age to be able to follow words of a prayer, I use a shorter version of the Apostle’s Creed that incorporates elements of American Sign Language (ASL) to help communicate these great truths. I sometimes give a quick pause after each “I believe” (Father, Son, Spirit) to verbally connect that to the message of the Scripture explanation for the day.

Thank you to two members of my parish, Don Kopinski (who is named in the YouTube account) and one who is an ASL interpreter (pictured in the video, but not named, so preserving her anonimity), for creating this resource.

Reading the Bible with Kids as Family Prayer: Part 4 – Making it Prayer and Not Just Reading

Part of a four part series:

Part 1 = Tip #1 is Read From a Real Bible

Part 2 = Tip #2 Don’t Read the Entire Bible Straight Through

Part 3 = Tip #3 Do Read Books/Letters in Full

This Post is Part 4 =Tip #4 Make it Prayer, Not Just Ordinary Reading

To read the Bible with kids, we want to make it prayer so as to model discipleship and our prayer-relationships with God to them.

How to make reading the Bible part of family prayer time and not just reading another book?

Three key elements surround the reading of the Bible. These come from the framework of the Liturgy of the Hours (here’s a different post with why and how to make the basis of your family prayer time the Liturgy of the Hours–it’s way easier than you might imagine!). But you can skip that longer explanation, and just read on!

The three elements to surround Bible reading are:

First: Something to invite

[called the “invitatory” in the Liturgy of the Hours, coming from the Latin term]

It’s a moment to call upon the Lord for divine assistance and call the community of your family to prayer. 

Three practical examples:

• A call and response style, where the leader says one line and all other reply:
  • Come, Holy Spirit / Fill our hearts with your love and wisdom
  • God, come to our assistance / Lord come quickly to help us
  • Lord, open my lips / And my mouth will proclaim your praise

Once you demonstrate one of these call/response “invitations” school-aged children will quickly memorize it. I find it sometimes makes a good “focusing” or “quieting” prayer, which can be repeated a few times if needed until all are attentive and participating. 

• Extemporaneous prayer: simply speak the words of your heart in whatever way natural, i.e. “Jesus, lead us to be your disciples as we read your word,” “Holy Spirit, bring light to our minds and convert our hearts,” or “God, help us to know you more”
  
• A short, easily memorizable prayer that all can pray in common, i.e:
  • “May the Lord be in my mind, on my lips and in my heart.” (matching gestures from Mass)

Next: Read the Bible (see posts #1-3 of this series for what/how much). 

Then: The talking part.

At its heart, this is our response to God’s Word. In the General Instruction of the Liturgy of the Hours, it’s called a “homily,” with the directions, “in a celebration with the people a short homily may follow the reading to explain its meaning” (para. 47). In the ancient Greek language where the term “homily” comes from, it means a discussion or conversation–and that’s exactly what your family’s “homily” response to God’s Word can be. 

This will vary a lot depending on the personalities of your children. A common question I’m asked is “”how to make the Bible relevant/applicable for them at a kid’s level in their life,” and the answer to this is follow their lead, and they will show you what is relevant at this point in their life. It might not be what you want, might not be what you find spiritually enriching, etc. but the point is to follow their interests. 

How to begin?

In the “Catechesis of the Good Shepherd” style of exposing children as young as 3-6 years of age to readings from a real Bible, the first discussion question posed is often, “what did you hear?”

This is purposefully very-open ended. It allows children to respond in a very concrete way (i.e. recalling whatever details or content stood out to them) but also more broadly, for example that they might hear a particular message or application that was not specifically stated in the text of the Bible which was just read.

I’ve seen this question–this one, single question–work wonderfully in the 3-6 year old range. And that’s it. The kids have “made it relevant” in their responses. You as the parent did not need to conjure up or have anything predetermined in mind.

My oldest two children are about to enter grades 3 and 5, and in that time since their preschool years they have (natural development) become less abstract in language and more into concrete details–and so our starter questions have evolved. Some that we use:

• What did you notice? [The more “literal”-minded elementary school kid version of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd prompt! Haha. Because elementary school kids will reply “I didn’t hear anything” I find, as they age.]
• Did the Holy Spirit place any questions or ideas into your mind or heart? [This is probably the most precise–it’s communicating to them that the Holy Spirit is there to guide our reading of the Bible, and that the way the Spirit speaks to us can be in both things we wonder about and things that are insights; and can be through “head” knowledge or “heart” knowledge of feelings, etc.]
• Has the Lord given you any special gifts or words of faith, wisdom, or knowledge to share with us all? [This draws on some background terminology of graces/gifts you could familiarize your family with, i.e. CCC 2004, Isaiah 11:1-3, Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:7) → this is more “theological” language, so if it doesn’t resonate with your kids yet, don’t use it! Sometimes it resonates with our family, sometimes not–but I slip it in because it’s gradually showing the kids that those “questions/ideas” they have can be specific gifts of grace the Church and Bible speak of]
• Does anyone have something they want to share about this reading? Has the Lord spoken to you in any way?

Find what works for you–but the key is, don’t make it directive. Don’t ask a question about their comprehension or immediately try to ask a question that draws out a spiritual insight you have in mind. Let them respond organically, as the Holy Spirit leads them, from their own mind and heart as a child. 

We often remind our children that “God speaking to them” doesn’t always sound like a voice on a loudspeaker! I like the acronym FRUIT for considering how God might be speaking…how I Feel, Respond/Reply, Understand, Imagine, Think are all ways of “hearing” God in the Bible.

What if nobody says anything? 

That’s okay–occasionally. Right? I mean, sometimes, I’m really tired at night when we are trying to pray as a family and I am actually grateful that a long discussion is not about to ensue. Or that everyone is just silent, or bored, or whatever and I don’t have to remind people to stop interrupting others. 

Silence is okay. In fact, when there is no “homily” in the Liturgy of the Hours, silence following a Bible reading is an appropriate response. So allow silence for however long a length works for your family–even if it’s just 20 seconds. 

But, in a family setting, to read the Bible with children, it should not always be silent as the response–and I think with most children’s personalities, it won’t be silent more than 50% of the time!

If your children are very hesitant to ever answer, “what did you notice?” then model it as adults. Once you give the kids a chance to answer, then it’s okay to start jumping in with your answers to “what did you notice?” and what ideas or questions the Holy Spirit might have placed into your heart or mind. 

Don’t overthink it. You don’t have to pick out some perfect lesson. You do not need to have a paragraph from the Catechism you plan to “teach.” You’re modeling a genuine response to the Word of God from wherever you are. You are allowing the Holy Spirit to guide this time. You are listenging to God, not speaking over God.

My husband and I notice that if we start sharing our responses, that often generates responses from our kids. 

So let’s assume you don’t have a problem of too much silence, and you’ve got lots of lively inputs from your children.

The “Questions” Digression

A very common question/concern is, “Where to find short and simple answers to hard questions kids have about Old Testament Bible stories or New Testament parables!” or in general, “what do I do if they ask me something I don’t know?!?”

It’s another great opportunity to model for your children. 

Let’s say it’s a factual question–i.e. Is Galatia in Europe or Asia? [We were reading Acts 16 as a family last night, so this was asked]. For something like that, we could flip to a map and show the factual answer. Or, if you’re using a study Bible (which is an edition of a Bible that often has extra informational note) maybe you have the answer readily at hand. But, if it was something my husband and I didn’t know–we’d just say, “hmm, that’s an interesting question, I have no idea, maybe we can look it up tomorrow.” 

And then, if I remember the next day and the child is still interested (note: our kids have been known to have many random factual questions during our evening family prayer time which may or may not be about stalling before bedtime…) I can offer to actually look the fact up, “how long does it take to get to Capernaum?” “Who were the Assyrians?”–the internet can provide the “encyclopedia” level depth (aka not too deep!) answers kids often would like to know.  

Let’s say it’s a spiritual question or something more complex in understanding the teachings of the Church–if it’s something you’re not ready to answer in the moment (maybe because you haven’t pondered it yet or in a while!), it’s okay to just say so–in that act you’re modeling what it’s really like to be a disciple of Jesus. Sometimes, we have to wrestle with, ponder, and pray to know what we believe about something. You might answer, “I am really wondering about that too. I need to set aside some quiet time myself to ask for God’s wisdom on that.” And then, do it 🙂 and follow up with that kid or bring it back up in a future family prayer time. 

If this hasn’t put you at ease, one very practical thing that might give you confidence would be to get a “commentary” for the particular book your family is reading. (And you probably won’t need to buy a lot of them, because it takes longer than you think to go through a book of the Bible reading it as a family!). The Catholic Commentary on Sacred Scripture is one of the most user-friendly commentaries, not designed for an academic audience. So, if you grab one of those for the book of the Bible your family is reading, you’ll have a reference to go to for some questions. But, I’d encourage you to not bring that book into family prayer time. Keep research separate, so the emphasis of prayer time stays on how God is speaking to us, right now in the Scriptures, and not “right answers.”  

What if the kids never say anything “spiritual”?

Don’t worry. Learning what’s in the Bible can then become “spiritual” in our adult sense as they grow older and begin to make more applications. Kids have a tremendous attraction and capacity to engage in stories and details. This is why they become fascinated with dozens of characters in a book or video series and can keep them all straight in their heads 😉 while you or I might tune out. School-aged kids are going to be drawn to what the Church calls the “literal sense” of the text. And this is great! The Catechism explains, “All other [meaning spiritual] senses of Sacred Scripture are based on the literal.” The beauty of reading full books of the Bible with your children as prayer is that they will gradually absorb these “meta-narratives” and slowly place their life into them.

End Transition: Closing the “Homily”/Response Portion

As your discussion winds down or is limited by time (because let’s face it, we don’t have endless time!) it’s time to close the homily/discussion portion. My husband and I are usually the ones to do this, because we are more mature in life experience and thus more likely to have spiritual applications or insights to share. (In contrast, our school aged children are enthusiastically devoted to understanding the concrete details and what’s happening in the text). 

We then transition with extemporaneous prayer inspired by the words of the Bible we just read and our discussion. 

Last: Close prayer time as a whole.

We use common “leader”/”response” prayers from the endings of Evening and Night Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours, or offer space for people to name intercessions (like you hear during the Prayers of the Faithful at Mass), or “gather up” all of our prayers into the Our Father. 

Hope you found this series helpful and encouraging in reading the Bible with your family as prayer time. If you have questions, leave them in the Comments on any post and I’ll do my best to answer!

Reading the Bible with Kids as Family Prayer: Part 3 – Read Books or Letters in Full

Part of a four part series:

Part 1 = Tip #1 is Read From a Real Bible

Part 2 = Tip #2 Don’t Read the Entire Bible Straight Through

Part 3 = Tip #3 Do Read Books/Letters in Full

Part 4 =Tip #4 Make it Prayer, Not Just Ordinary Reading

Today we’re on Tip #3, Read books (or letters) in full, straight through (what’s often called a “continuous” reading)

Pick a book and read it in full. Don’t skip around, don’t just read highlights or excerpts.

While this may seem harder, it’s actually easier.

For starters, it means that as the adult, you need only decide on one book to read 🙂 (and then that decision can last weeks or months) in contrast to deciding what to include [or not] from a particular book.

But more importantly, reading a book in full makes the Bible more understandable. The Sacred Scriptures have both God and a human as true authors. When we as humans write, we each do it with our own style. By reading a book in full, you’re acquainting yourself with that human author’s style–his way of making introductions, transitioning between different settings or ideas, and his internal, logical flow of drama or tensions within the book.

Plus, by not skipping parts, you’re giving maximum space for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts and minds of you and your children.

How to know how much of the Bible to read at a time with kids?

It should be a small enough portion that your kids can remember it to share and discuss immediately following.

How many verses that is will vary immensely depending on the style of writing. I find that if it’s a narrative story scene with lots of action–those become a larger chunk that gets read all at once. When something is more about ideas (i.e. a speech, preaching, or teaching section) then the portion will be a much smaller number of verses.

Don’t sweat it! When in doubt, go for shorter and wait for your kids to complain that they so readily remember and understand what you’ve proclaimed that you are ruining family prayer time by making the Bible readings too short. 🙂 Even within a narrative story, breaking it up to create suspense can be very motivational for kids! (Or, they might point out to you that they will just keep reading in the Bible after prayer time is over to show you how wrong you as the parent were to cut the reading shorter than they would have liked. #ParentWin).

In our family, factors like “it’s too late and we seriously need to have been in bed 20 minutes ago” often drive a shorter-than-usual selection of verses. Which points to another beneficial thing about using the Bible as part of family prayer time–it lends itself to flexibility in duration depending on the time of day, moods of children, my own level of tiredness at the end of the day (!!!), etc. Success can be 4 minutes, or success can be a 24 minutes.

Where do you split up reading? How do you know where to stop and start for a passage?

Don’t worry about Chapter numbers or sub-headings of sections in your Bible. Chapter numbers were “new technology” developed many centuries after the original writing of the Bible. They can be useful, but don’t feel like they are “the answer” or something forcing you to start or stop. Don’t feel pressure to do a “full chapter” (we rarely ever do) as they are often too long or too many different scenes or ideas.

What to pay attention to instead?

In narrative books (like a Gospel), I especially find it helpful to imagine what I’m reading as if it’s a play/drama/movie performance and consider where the “scene changes” would be–meaning:

• when the location backdrop on the stage or filming set would need to change
• when there’s a break in time to another day or season
• when the cast of characters would all need to exit/enter the stage

None of the four Gospels nor Acts of the Apostles are written with an even pacing of time covered, so sometimes what we call a “chapter” might span a short portion of time and sometimes a long portion. Sometimes months or even years pass quite quickly.

If you as the adult keep aware of the next “scene change” so to speak, then you have some idea what a logical endpoint would be.

But, know that you can (and should in many cases!) divide a single story/event into many days of family prayer time. Case in point: we just reached Acts Chapter 15, and it took about 6 family prayer sessions to work through it. It has big ideas and we re-read verses to build up to the whole dramatic scene.

Another clue for “where to stop?!?” for a session is to stop if you as the adult have come across something that moves you, that you would want to share about during the “homily”/discussion/response [more on this later] part of prayer time. Sometimes it might be that you know just these few verses will generate enough “response” for a fruitful prayer time–so leave that space to really hone in on where the Holy Spirit guides you as the adult!

And always, pay attention to your children–if they seem like their eyes are glazing over and you’ve reached their maximium ability to remember what they just heard, then stop or shorten your passage length. We can’t very well contemplate the Scriptures or pray with the Scriptures if we do not remember anything that we just heard 🙂

Keeping a Flow When Reading the Bible with Kids

Reading a single book of the Bible continuously will help with a natural flow.

Before starting prayer time, we often ask the kids what they remembered from the previous prayer session. If they have blank stares, we’ll often then re-read the same verses again–or re-read and then add on slightly. Sometimes, even if they do remember, we will let them know that we’re going to re-read and then go further, because some stories, the logical idea-building in a letter, or the drama in a Psalm just lend themselves to being “built” until completion, rather than being read in segments.

In Summary, Don’t Worry About How Fast You’re Going or How Much You’re Reading in Prayer

Really.

How much to read each prayer session (for us it’s each “night” when we pray as a family) and by extension how fast to go, or “what schedule to keep up with?” are unimportant. Slow is just as good as fast. Finishing one book in a month is just as good as finishing one book in a year.

Different books of the Bible will lend themselves to different speeds based on your children’s ages, interests, personalities, and rhythms of family life.

The Gospel of Mark was the first book of the Bible that we incorporated as a continuous read into our family prayer time. We finished it in a month. Then we started the Gospel of Luke and that took about 8 months. It’s all good! There’s no race, competition, or daily Bible-reading-plan-schedule to keep up with. Opening up the Bible and letting the Holy Spirit impact your family is “success” and it’s not at all diminished by failing to keep up with a pre-determined reading plan. Keep your expectations reasonable and allow your family to dwell in God’s Word at whatever pace and portion size fits best!

The final tip in this series will cover how to make family Bible reading prayerful, worrying about not knowing enough, answering questions, keeping it relevant, and more.

Reading the Bible with Kids as Family Prayer: Part 2 – Don’t Read the Entire Bible Straight Through

Part of a four part series:

Part 1 = Tip #1 Read From a Real Bible

This post is Part 2 = Tip #2 Don’t Read the Entire Bible Straight Through

Part 3 = Tip #3 Do Read Books/Letters in Full

Part 4 =Tip #4 Make it Prayer, Not Just Ordinary Reading

“Don’t read the Bible straight through. Don’t go cover to cover.” This was the first piece of advice my 10-year old son provided when I asked him about what we should say to families interested in using the Bible in prayer.

I 100% agree with this. To read the Bible with kids as family prayer, Tip #2 is:

Don’t try and read the Bible cover to cover as family prayer.

Why not? The “canonical” order of books (meaning the order books of the Bible are typically printed and bound together in) isn’t oriented toward knowing God and following Jesus as a disciple.

Prime example: Paul’s Letters. Their canonical order is by length–longest to shortest. Not an order that should override what you know about the interests, levels of faith and conversion, etc. of the people you’re reading the Bible with!

And as my son pointed out, “if you just read the books of the Bible in the table of contents order you might not even notice that Acts of the Apostles is the sequel to Luke’s Gospel.” [Decent point!]

Going deeper into the importance of considering what books you read in an order that fosters discipleship, the Church teaches:

For this reason Jesus perfected revelation by fulfilling it through his whole work of making Himself present and manifesting Himself: through His words and deeds, His signs and wonders, but especially through His death and glorious resurrection from the dead and final sending of the Spirit of truth. Moreover He confirmed with divine testimony what revelation proclaimed, that God is with us to free us from the darkness of sin and death, and to raise us up to life eternal.

Constitution on Divine Revelation (“Dei Verbum”) para. 4

In short? Jesus is central. More than important. Can’t overstate it!

Thus, for children who are “new disciples of Jesus” and early in their personal relationships with God a foundation that aims to explicitly establish who Jesus is, what Jesus did, and our relationship with him as a disciple is essential. If one was to start at the “front cover” of a Bible, it would take way too long (realistically, at a school-aged child’s comprehension speed) to reach the New Testament.

What book of the Bible should we read first as a family?

I would suggest a Gospel (to build that foundation of the person of Jesus), and Mark’s Gospel specifically. It has the highest proportion of action/story narratives and lowest proportion of longer teaching/speech sections of Jesus. I think that makes it most intuitive for us as adults to read continuously with children, starting and stopping each day.

Now, I certainly wouldn’t argue with you if you had more of an interest in Matthew, Luke, or John and wanted to make one of those your first book–but the length of some of the teaching sermons and dialogues in those might be a bit more intimidating and harder for kids to keep track of what’s going on day-to-day in your prayer time. Kids do often like a sense of accomplishment (“finishing something”) and so as the shortest Gospel, Mark will give them the earliest sense of satisfaction.

And then what? What order should our family read the rest of the Bible in?

Wait and see. Discover what reading the Bible as family prayer time is like for you. Keep your plans short-term because children’s development and developmental stages are rapid, and your family needs will evolve and reveal the right path.

Here’s what happened in our family. I selected the Gospel of Mark as our first book at the start of an Advent season, not knowing where this would go. Then, since it was December…our oldest child started advocating that since there is nothing about Jesus’ birth in Mark’s Gospel, and the Christmas season was upon us, we should do Luke’s Gospel next. Seemed as good a reason as any!

Then, the second oldest child obviously insisteted that he too should get to pick a book. (Spoiler Alert: the Gospel of Luke is really really long, so he had to patiently wait many many months to make his pick, and decided to pick the Gospel of John]. This led to the idea that each member of our family would get to take turns selecting the next book. For the younger kids, the rest of us (adults + 2 school-aged kids) amusingly debate reasons to pick a book in their honor, i.e. currently reading Acts of the Apostles as the “choice” of our toddler named Paul.) Proxy-pick debates can be fun.

We read books so slowly, we do not need a master plan 🙂 We’ve been at it for 2.75 years at this point, and I’m thinking we will likely repeat some books as a family that most clearly provide the foundation mentioned above as our children grow into different ages and stages, rather than pursue an objective of reading every book simply for the sake of doing it.

In that spirit (another spoiler-alert!) there will be no super-amazing downloadable .pdf family Bible reading plan at the end of this post 😉 or Bible-in-a-Year reading plan.

Instead, I encourage you to think about the interests and stages of faith in your family and use that as a way to choose that “next” book (knowing that you never need to have a “strategic plan” beyond the book of the Bible you’re currently in!).

What books of the Bible have we read? What’s next?

After the second-oldest child picked the Gospel of John, the next pick went to my husband. He wanted to get out of the Gospel genre, and picked Hebrews. After this, we all agreed that the “proxy-pick” in honor of our toddler, Paul, should be Acts of the Apostles. And that has brought us almost 3 years so far! I suspect we will finish Acts right at the 3 year mark.

As you can see, we’ve only read one letter (Hebrews) and so other letters that might become our “next books” in the near-future include: Ephesians and 1 John. Both of those are relatively short and like Hebrews follow themes in a “circular” style which means they get repeated from different angles–which is great for kids.

We might also do something really long like Exodus as our first Old Testament book because it has so many foundational connections to baptism, the Eucharist, and it’s nearly-constantly being referenced in the New Testament. The family-humor proxy-pick logic on that is that our youngest child’s name includes “Xavier” and “X” sounds like “Exodus.” This is why we don’t take our selves so super-seriously as to think there’s an obvious, single “right” family Bible reading plan. Do what bears fruits, intersets, and motivates your family!

The next 2 tips in this series will cover how much to read, how to make it prayerful, worrying about not knowing enough, answering questions, keeping it relevant, and more.

Reading the Bible with Kids as Family Prayer: Part 1 – Why Read from a Real Bible

Reading the real Bible with real, curious, fidgety, and sometimes-interrupting school-aged children during family prayer time? It’s possible and worth it.

Here’s the first of 4 tips from our family’s experience of the past 3 years of reading from an “actual” Bible as part of family prayer time.

These four tips are arranged in four blog posts called Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Today’s post is Part 1 = Tip #1 is Read From a Real Bible

Part 2 = Tip #2 Don’t Read the Entire Bible Straight Through

Part 3 = Tip #3 Do Read Books/Letters in Full

Part 4 =Tip #4 Make it Prayer, Not Just Ordinary Reading

#1 Do read from an actual Bible (not a so-called “Children’s Bible” of stories, summaries; not an excerpt in a leaflet, magazine, or even a lectionary; not from a screen)

This sounds a bit picky, but it makes a difference. Kids are more impacted by the concrete.

Thus, handling a full-size Bible (or at a minimum, a New Testament portion), seeing pages turn, seeing the scale of the book, finding books/chapters, etc. is all powerful learning for a child. School-aged kids will often get curious about books that you’re not currently reading or want to see how long certain chapters are. While this might seem “non-spiritual” to us as adults, it’s building the child’s interest, it’s building up a normalcy in reading the Bible. Your example is communicating to them that the Bible is an important part of prayer and relationship with God. Reading from an excerpt, screen, or summarized words provides much less differentiation and clarity on what is being proclaimed–and that this is different than other books like the Catechism, writings of canonized saints, etc. which are not the inspired Scriptures.

Caveat: if you are only able to use a screen or excerpt-product (i.e. when traveling) then still go for it! But, when possible, use a real Bible.

How to go about reading aloud? Will kids even understand?

In our family, only an adult reads. [Note: we certainly have other times when we are not doing our continuous reading of a book of the Bible where we do let our elementary school children read from the Bible or other prayer texts.] When we’re doing our continuous reading of a book of the Bible, my husband or I does the reading aloud because we have the capacity to add more inflection, emotion, different speeds, etc. to make it easier to hear and comprehend.

We also do things like repeat a person’s name where the translation might have a pronoun (as pronouns can be harder for a child to follow when listening) and sometimes add a “the” before “Christ” so that our listeners can hear that “Christ” is a title, not part of Jesus’ name (which is what it sounds like if read too quickly).

Find a “real” Bible that works for your family.

While storybook or summary excerpts from the Bible make excellent reading for kids on their own (here’s a list of favorite Bible-based storybooks and children’s books our kids have loved), for prayer time, you’re looking for an actual Bible, with at least the entire New Testament.

My two favorite adagaes when it comes to choosing a Bible are:

1. The best Bible is the one you’ll read/use.
2. The best Bible is 3 or 4 or 5. (Meaning that have multiple editions/translations offers different word choices and supplemental material that can provide nuance and greater meaning).

First, let’s talk translation. Translation is a different element than a Bible’s “edition” (which is something the publisher puts together and has to do with illustrations, maps, essays, covers, style of print, reflections, and side-essays that might be included). The same translation of the Bible from its original languages into English (the language of my family–background note: use a translation into the language your family is most familiar with) can be used to create many “editions” of the Bible. 

With school-aged kids, taking in the big story and ideas–the meaning of the Sriptures–is most natural to their developmental stages, not doing precision word study, seeing parallel literary styles, etc.. Because of this, we select translations that are more “dynamic” (in contrast to “literal”) meaning these translators focus on putting the writings in the original ancient languages into the closest meaning in our modern-day way of speaking English. The Good News Translation, The Message translation, and N.T. Wright’s “The Kingdom” New Testament all do this using words and phrases that have been smooth and understandable for us reading aloud as a family. But again, remember adage #1, if you are enjoying a different translation, don’t take my suggestions!

Details on the Three Translation+Edition Combinations We’ve Used So Far

We love the Catholic Children’s Bible Good News Translation from St. Mary’s Press for its colorful illustrations, color-coding on books of the Bible, and larger font/spacing.

We sometimes use The Message Catholic Edition for the readability. As we move into Old Testament books in the future (more about that in a future post!) I expect we’ll be using this translation more to make parts of the Book of Exodus more readable. As far as I’m aware, there is only one Catholic edition (meaning, containing our full canon (meaning “list”) of 73 books) of The Message translation (linked above). However, if you’re not reading one of the 7 books present only in the Catholic canon of Scripture, there’s no reason to shy away from using other editions of The Message if they fit your needs. They can be found at great discounts in used form online! 

N.T. Wright’s The Kingdom New Testament (an in-depth quasi-local review from Baker Book House, publisher of the Catholic Commentary on Sacred Scripture) aims to work the cultural awareness and meaning you’d get from study notes into the translation itself. I use this for personal devotional reading and could see how it might help parents feel more comfortable and knoweldgeable when reading with children.

Other Thoughts on Editions

“Edition” is what the publisher adds around the text of the Bible. You might seek out an edition designed for children or youth so that the supplemental content is targeted toward the developmental levels of a family. You might seek out an adult-level Catholic study Bible edition because this means the supplemental notes will be more extensive and help you as the adult gain background understanding on the text of the Bible or even answer questions your kids might ask. You might seek out an edition that has “journalling” in its description, which means there will be extra notetaking space. This could be a wonderful way to show your children that this Bible is truly “yours” as a family–maybe using that space to write down a favorite question, insight, or word that is mentioned as you read the Bible together. Your kids will then have a way to “see” the progress you make through a book, and remember months and years later how God might have been speaking in and through your family (even when they were “little”). 

Conclusion on Choosing a Bible for Your Catholic Family

Overall, Adage #1 applies–ignore my suggestions if a different translation is working for your family! 🙂 And if not, try Adage #2 and don’t be afraid to try some different translations and/or editions to find what works best for your family. 

By using the actual Bible within your family prayer time, you’re sending a personal message more impactful on your kids than any statement of Church teaching and more powerful than anything they might hear or see at school or in a parish that you value the Word of God in prayer, the Scriptures matter to your life, and that God is truly present to us in the inspired Sacred Scriptures. 

The next 3 tips in this series will cover how much to read, what order to read, how to make it prayerful, worrying about not knowing enough, answering questions, keeping it relevant, and more.

Pray the Liturgy of the Hours (aka “Divine Office”) with Your Family

Praying as a family is hard. Lots of opinions to manage, not so much time, and it can seem like just one more thing to add to your list of parental challenges. 

All of us who are parents know that Jesus told his disciples to pray.

We are his disciples.

Therefore, we should teach our children to pray too–if we want them to be Jesus’ disciples. 

When we start to think about the wealth of ways to pray that are all part of Catholic spirituality, not to mention the latest and greatest suggestions we can find on the internet and social media, it can seem overwhelming. We start off already feeling like we’re not doing it right, not doing it well enough, or not trying hard enough. I shared a few years ago, how I mostly dislike family prayer time (!!).

So here’s a suggestion that sounds hard, but is actually a freeing framework. 

I recommend making the Liturgy of the Hours framework the structure for at least one family prayer time.

Background Note: For our family, in this phase of life, we pray together for an extended (meaning more than just the length of praying before a meal) time once a day. 

First, what is the Liturgy of the Hours (also called the “Divine Office”)?

The Liturgy of the Hours is the public, liturgical prayer of the Church. While there are many wonderful devotions (i.e. rosary, chaplets, etc.) from across the world and centuries of our Catholic faith, only the Liturgy of the Hours is the Church’s liturgy. 

So why not use the framework of the public, liturgical prayer of the Church for your domestic church?

If your family has multiple prayer sessions a day–great, make one for the rosary, angelus, or whatever. But, if you only have one family prayer time, I’d say why not derive it from the structure of the Liturgy of the Hours?

By using the Liturgy of the Hours as inspiration, you’re exposing your children to the largest, broadest from of prayer outside of Mass in the Church. You’re exposing your children to a form of prayer that flows from our Jewish spiritual heritage–the way Jesus and his first followers prayed as Jews. You’re exposing your children to a form of prayer that extends beyond the visible bounds of the Church to many of our Protestant brothers and sisters, as well as our Eastern Orthodox brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.

As Bishop Robert Barron’s Word on Fire ministry summarizes:

[The Liturgy of the Hours is] The Church’s official prayer, and the highest form of prayer after the Mass. It is an ancient, structured way of praying Scripture throughout the day, focusing especially on the Psalms. It hearkens back to the Jewish custom of praying at fixed hours, a practice continued by the early Church.

My take as a parent? The Liturgy of the Hours is the prayer of the Church. And so if it’s good enough for the universal Church 😉 well, it’s probably good enough for us. 

In the General Instruction of the Liturgy of the Hours, the Church even encourages us to use the Liturgy of the Hours as a family, noting:

“it is desirable that the family, the domestic sanctuary of the Church, should not only pray together to God but should also celebrate some parts of the Liturgy of the Hours as occasion offers, so as to enter more deeply into the life of the Church.”

General Instructions, para. 27

And, as much as my own personal, quiet prayer time feels a whole lot more “prayerful” than our family time of prayer, the Church is there to encourage us, pointing out the goodness of trying to pray together:

“Celebration in common reveals more clearly the ecclesial nature of the Liturgy of the Hours; it makes for the active participation of all, each in his own role, by means of acclamations, dialogue, alternating psalmody and similar elements, and allows greater scope to variety of expression. Hence, whenever it is possible to have celebration in common, with the faithful present and actively sharing in it, this kind of celebration is to be preferred to one that is individual and as it were private”

General Instructions, para. 33

So, there you go–the active participation and variety of expressions present in your family’s communal celebration derived from the Liturgy of the Hours is “preferred” to an individual/private celebration as it somehow, mysteriously reveals the “ecclesial nature” (meaning that reality of each of us being called out by God into the Body of Christ, the Church) of prayer. The mess of our children interrupting, picking up Legos during prayer time, and constantly distracting me reveals the true nature of the Liturgy of the Hours more than me praying part of the Liturgy of the Hours alone. [Which is kind of a mind blowing thought worth my prayerful contemplation in and of itself!]

What to know about using the Liturgy of the Hours as a framework for family prayer?

First, look at the structure and customize it for your family.

This is the key. This is what makes it realistic, not impossible. Don’t pray the entire Liturgy of the Hours as a family. Don’t even pray the entirety of one of the daily parts at first (i.e. the entire Evening Prayer/Vespers). Whittle it down to the right size for your family in this season of life. This is okay. You’re not breaking any rules. Remember, the General Instruction of the Liturgy of the Hours suggests we pray, “some parts of the Liturgy of the Hours as occasion offers.” Because as lay people, we are not “mandated” as some clergy are, to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, “some parts” is up to you. 

We as families are welcome to derive and adapt the framework in a way that works best for our homes. 

Pope Paul VI’s 1970 Apostolic Constitution Laudis Canticum explains:

The Office has been drawn up and arranged in such a way that not only clergy but also religious and indeed laity may participate in it, since it is the prayer of the whole people of God. People of different callings and circumstances, with their individual needs, were kept in mind and a variety of ways of celebrating the office has been provided, by means of which the prayer can be adapted to suit the way of life and vocation of different groups dedicated to the Liturgy of the Hours.

Pope Paul VI emphsizes the relevance for the laity again in his summary, stating plainly:

“the Liturgy of the Hours is recommended to all the faithful, including those who are not bound by law to their recitation”

In summary? Choose “some parts” and adapt from what the Liturgy of the Hours offers in a way that works for your family. 

For us, how we use the Liturgy of the Hours framework varies for throughout the year (over the years as children grow into different ages and stages), and even on different evenings depending on how much time we have. 

Two Suggestions on Where to Start:

If you’d want to start with a naturally short part of the daily Liturgy of the Hours, and not have to think much about how to shorten it in adaptation for your family, I’d recommend the Invitatory. 

The Invitatory goes like this: 

Leader: Lord, open my lips.

All Reply: And my mouth will proclaim your praise. [From Psalm 51]

This is a great spot to adapt and emphasize the word “praise” with, “let us now praise the Lord” and offer a song suitable to your family. [Many kids like songs! A song also makes a simple element for children to take turns picking since ownership certainly helps all of us feel more engaged in any activity, prayer included]. 

Then proceed on as usual (General Instructions, para. 34-36) with an antiphon (a short phrase or verse provided for that day or season).

In the family context, we’ll often stick with a single antiphon for a liturgical season, week, or month. Kids, especially pre-readers, are often very open to things that are ripe for natural memorization. Unlike our adult minds (which often crave novelty!) children often enjoy the familiar (i.e. consider how often a child will ask an adult to repeat reading the same book). This natural memorization helps fill your children’s minds with the words of the Church, which then meld with their own as they pray individually later that day or later in life as they grow!

Then comes the psalm of the day. The psalm is traditionally Psalm 95, 100, 67, or 24. You could rotate daily, weekly, etc. 

During the invitatory the psalm is interspersed with the antiphon (like in music–the psalm verses are like the “verses” of a song, and the antiphon is like the “refrain” of the song). 

This provides an opportunity for any “readers” among your kids to alternate reading the verses of the psalm, while all (including younger, pre-readers) can recite the antiphon between the verses. 

Then close with the traditional ending of “Glory to the Father, and to the Son…” and a sign of the cross. 

Voila, you’ve prayed the official prayer of the Church without even subtracting anything! (And maybe, you even added a song of praise). 

My second suggestion on where to start is to take either morning or evening prayer, and choose elements from those frameworks (which are nearly identical in form) for your family.

As the General Instruction of the Liturgy of the Hours explains: 

“In keeping with the ancient tradition of the universal Church, Morning and Evening Prayer form a double hinge of the daily Office and are therefore to be considered the principal Hours and celebrated as such.”

para. 37

Glancing quickly at a real example of Morning or Evening Prayer is the best way to get a sense of what those framework elements to choose from are. Universalis.com is one of the most enduring, free Liturgy of the Hours websites, so check it out: https://universalis.com/

The framework elements of the Liturgy of the Hours are:

Introduction

Hymn (aka a song)

Psalm (plus Antiphon/Prayer) #1

Psalm (plus Antiphon/Prayer) #2

Psalm (plus Antiphon/Prayer) #3 

Scripture Reading

Optional Homily (ref. General Instructions, para. 47)

Silence

Responsory [Leader and All Respond short lines]

Gospel Canticle

Intercessions

Lord’s Prayer

Closing

For our family (currently 4 kids ages 10 and younger) the we choose from that framework in this way: 

• Introduction [easily memorized, call and response]
• Hymn/Song
• Scripture Reading [this could be a Psalm, but for our kids, we only choose one passage so that we can focus in on that. If your family has the attention to dwell on both a Psalm and other Scripture reading, great! We don’t right now 🙂 and that’s okay!]
• “Homily” / Reflection / Response → aka when we talk about what we just heard in the Scripture passage
• Responsory [we use the same one every time so that we know it by heart]
• *Sometimes* a sung version of a Gospel Canticle (we tend to do this in Advent and Christmas because the Gospel Canticles connect easily to those seasons)
• Combination of Intercessions, Lord’s Prayer, and/or prayer in our own words.
• Closing

This particular type of adaptation takes no specific book other than having a Bible, because we have memorized over time our introduction, responsory, and closing. 

Sometimes we do use books that offer us more variety than what we’ve memorized, our school-aged kids especially like when they can use their reading skills as we all read (alternating half of the group for each verse of a psalm). 

There are lots of other combinations and adaptations you could do! If your family is musical, pick some musical settings of psalms to learn/use. If you have a particular book of the Bible you aim to read through, substitute it for the given Scripture reading of the day, etc. 

The beauty of praying the official prayer of the Church is the reality that the Chruch is the Mystical Body of Christ.

Around the world, there are clergy, some religious orders, and other lay people who are praying every part of the Liturgy of the Hours–a sign of praying without ceasing. Whatever small or large portion you choose as a family, you are joined to this Mystical Body of Christ in a special way through the Liturgy of the Hours. Anything you feel might be “lacking” in your prayer is filled in by others, and your family is at the same time, filling up the Body of Christ in your own unique and imperfect way. 

Following the Second Vatican Council, Pope Paul VI expressed this hope in his Apostolic Constitution Laudis Canticum:

Now that the prayer of Holy Church has been reformed and entirely revised in keeping with its very ancient tradition and in the light of the needs of our day, it is to be hoped above all that the Liturgy of the Hours may pervade and penetrate the whole of Christian prayer, giving it life, direction, and expression and effectively nourishing the spiritual life of the people of God.

Has the Liturgy of the Hours made our family prayer time awesome, perfect, peaceful, and serene?

No.

We’re still a family praying at our kitchen table or on the rug in our older children’s bedroom, giving “the look” then their hards start to wander to toys, telling kids not to interrupt or kick each other, debating whether or not we should whisk the preschooler off to bed to avoid meltdown-level-crankiness, and holding a baby.

But, I have the confidence of knowing that we are forming our children as disciples of Jesus in a style similar to how Jesus formed disciples. By inviting them to follow along, to do, and participate (in a small way) in the “praying without ceasing” of God’s People. We rarely utter the phrase “Liturgy of the Hours” or “Divine Office.” They just know it as, “it’s time to pray together.” Someday, I hope they do learn of the existance of the entire Liturgy of the Hours, and realize that the simple phrases, patterns, and rhtyhms of prayer they learned as small children were a part of something much bigger–something that spans millenia, continents, and “In fact […] is the prayer of the Church with Christ and to Christ” (General Instructions, para. 2).

Young Children at Mass !, ?, :-), :-/, etc.

With this blog post, Fr. Michael White, pastor of Nativity Church in Timonium, Maryland, initiated a robust social media discussion on young children at Mass. And big picture, we’re all right, all Catholic.

The most important principle is this:

Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. (CCC para. 2223)

As long as that is respected, we can all be correct. We can all be joyfully Catholic when it comes to choices and preferences regarding young children at Mass.

Parents educate and form their children liturgically, evangelistically, catechetically, in virtues, shoe-tying, and more. Parents (or other guardians) have the first [=primary, fundamental] responsibility in discerning how they do this.

I’m a parent to two boys who are (almost) 6 and 4. Over their lifetimes, we’ve averaged attendance at 1.318321 Masses per week. [Note: total guess there, but we don’t miss Sunday Mass and usually attend at least one daily Mass a week.] They are avidly interested in Mass and somehow manage to do things like say enthusiastically, “Lord, have mercy” when a deacon takes a more generous pause than usual during the Kyrie. After Mass they want to bum rush the altar to do lots of genuflecting and bowing (I educate them about reverent gestures. A lot. :-)). By age 2, they would (on their own initiatives) walk around the house singing a through-composed Gloria from memory. And for me? I love to share how the liturgy evangelizes and how we can make this a lived, practical reality.

While I live in the Midwest, we’ve attended Fr. White’s parish, Nativity Church, two times for Sunday Mass and once for Christmas Mass at the Maryland State Fairgrounds. We’ve had one or two of our children with us during each of those trips. Our experience has been completely positive. On each occasion, we’ve showed our children the children’s ministries of Nativity and enticed them to try it out. In one case, the children’s ministries were full and the parishioners serving politely explained that they didn’t have the space/supervision for more children (a legit practical reality). That’s fine 🙂 I appreciate their attempt to serve us! In the other two visits, our kids were not interested in going. Which is totally normal (they were both 4 or under at the time)–most children of that age are naturally developmentally cautious when in new environments with new adults. Plus, they are interested in Mass–especially when it involves different sanctuaries, vestments, etc. as the visual and gesture elements of Mass are what captivate them.

This means that 3 times, we’ve had young children at Mass at Nativity, and sat as close to the front as possible (but also with unobstructed access to an exit door 🙂 ). Other worshipers, staff, ministers, everyone was welcoming. At Christmas Eve Mass, enthusiastic children’s ministry ushers did come and remind us of the opportunity with a joyful invitation. That’s hospitality. It wasn’t pushy. They smiled just as much with our toddler choosing to stay with us.

One of our visits was during the summer months, when Nativity sometimes uses lay preachers to provide adult faith formation immediately following Mass. During that visit, after Mass was over and we’d remained seated [in the sanctuary] for the upcoming talk, a children’s minister approached us to let us know that this talk was for adults/teens and they’d be happy to help check our kids into children’s ministry, show us the generously spaced atrium/glass windows [not a “cry room”] where the talk would be heard, seen on video, and watched through the glass windows, or show us to the cafe, where we could watch the talk via video and our kids could have some play space and snacks. She wore a uniform shirt, had a name tag, and was 100% pastoral, professional, and loving.

Adult faith formation isn’t Mass. As a parent I have the right and opportunity to bring my children to Mass. Adult faith formation is different–if a parish discerns pastorally that adults will be better able to enter into, hear, and respond to the Gospel message without young children, that’s a decision they can reasonably make. When a parish makes that decision without providing hospitable options and accommodations for parents, I think that’s an evangelistic loss. Parents are important. At least 1/3 of children in the U.S. are raised in single-parent homes, and those families sometimes need the options that Nativity generously provides.

The take home line from Fr. White’ blog is this:

This is why we invest in our children’s programs. We love the children of this parish so much we want them to have a great time and learn to love the Lord too, through age appropriate messages and worship.

This is hospitality. This is pre-evangelization and evangelization, an accompaniment and preferential service to parents who may only be at the beginning of their own experience of the evangelizing power of the liturgy (and thus struggle to model or catechize during Mass, or become distracted by their children’s questions). Giving parents true choice in their role as the primary educators of their children doesn’t diminish the liturgy, but respects the reality that, as the Church explains, “before men [and women] can come to the liturgy they must be called to faith and to conversion”–and that that conversion can be ongoing (Sacrosanctum Concilium, para 9). Parents get to decide if they send children to ministry programs during Mass or accompany them in liturgy. Parents can make that decision freely based on if their child slept well last night, if their own back is a bit too sore to hold someone during an entire Mass, or any number of factors. Most of our parishes do not give parents a variety of appealing choices as Nativity does. 

Granted, I disagree with the tone used at the start of Fr. White’s post. While it seems strongly in the Biblical tradition of deliberate rhetorical hyperbole so as to inspire a conversation (as Paul, Jesus, and rabbis would do in general), I’m cautious about how well that works for digital writing. (In my humble editorial opinion, sharing testimonies and stories of families who’ve experienced conversion and growth in relationship with Jesus Christ because of how Nativity gives parents choices and partners to form young disciples would be more influential/effective.) However, to not “throw out the baby with the bath water” on Fr. White’s rhetorical choices and writing, pastoral leaders should ponder the main point [showing love for parents with children] and discern how we are making this a reality in our own, unique pastoral settings.

The Catechism reminds us:

From the beginning, this one Church has been marked by a great diversity which comes from both the variety of God’s gifts and the diversity of those who receive them. Within the unity of the People of God, a multiplicity of peoples and cultures is gathered together. Among the Church’s members, there are different gifts, offices, conditions, and ways of life. (para. 814)

Nativity Parish

It’s About Relationships. Not Programs.

Margaret Spicer, Generational Ministries Pastor, Crossway Church

For anyone interested in Children’s and Family Ministry, check out this inspiring Podcast Interview by Carey Nieuwhof with Margaret Spicer.

The heart of the discussion focuses on two big ideas:

1. the importance of a team approach between everyone who ministers to and with youth–from nursery, right on up to teen/student ministries
2. an essential focus on truly serving the needs of families, a partnership, in contrast with the idea of simply “filling up” kids with all they need to grow as disciples at church at the expense of parents/caregivers as partners

How do these ideas resonate with your ministry experience? 

Why Is It Hard to Make Friends After 30? And What it Has to Do with the Church

 

Image: Kleinefotografie

A few years ago the Alex Williams of The New York Times shared a story mixing anecdote and research called “Friends of a Certain Age.” The basic question is why is it so hard for American to make [good] friends after age 30? What did he find?

 

Sociologists consider these three conditions crucial to making close friends:

1. proximity
2. repeated, unplanned interactions
3. a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in one another

By one’s 30s and beyond,

“you have been through your share of wearying or failed relationships. You have come to grips with the responsibilities of juggling work, families, and existing friends, so you may become more wary about making yourself emotionally available to new people. ‘You’re more keenly aware of the downside…You’re also more keenly aware of your own capacity to disappoint.” (Williams)

Friendship and Church?

John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard Church (and movement), observed: “People come to church for a variety of reasons, but they stay for only one—friendship.” This principle drives the ambiance and culture of Alpha, but it can mean so much more for churches.

I’m in my 30s right now and it’s an interesting* decade of life. Many Americans are starting families, highly engaged with the bustle of school-aged children, or entering a new realm of parenting teenagers. Many of us have relocated, are relocating, or will relocate for jobs or family. Many consider changes in life style or career in their 30s, or struggle with questions of purpose, ambition, and vision (Miller, “The Ambition Collision”). Some go through a divorce/separation, or end a long-term dating relationship. For those who identify as no particular religion, it can be a time of completing a process of “adulthood” by forming some personal conclusions about the meaning of life, human nature, and more. For all these reasons and more, it’s a time when deepening or developing friendships can be a practical challenge, yet when the fruit of friendship is profoundly needed. 

Proximity, Repeated Interactions, and Openness

When churches can offer settings where adults can let their guard down, and engage in many, repeat, unplanned interactions, then friendships are born. Unfortunately, a lot of what many of our churches do well is exactly the opposite of this–classes, lectures, coffee/donuts, structured small group discussion, prayer, worship, etc. These things are good without doubt, but they are not the most fertile ground for forming new friendships.

Settings for being, not doing or accomplishing a certain task/learning are key. But they must be inviting. For decades, Youth Ministries have grasped the importance of informal socialization among teens. This human desire doesn’t disappear when teens become adults. It takes more creativity though to envision what this might look like for your specific setting–maybe it’s centered around certain career interests, maybe it involves hobbies or maker-spaces (note: many public libraries have evolved into offering these types of public gatherings–check out yours for ideas!), maybe it’s an appealing environment for families to gather and play, maybe it’s appealing food/drink. Many studies have shown Americans becoming less and less social. This is a challenge (because we work against this tide by cultivating opportunities for this through churches), but also an opportunity to help adults experience connection to each other, to develop friendships that will keep them coming back, maybe coming to something more overtly “spiritual.”

God is a communion of divine persons, the closest, most perfect friendship imaginable–something we can never completely experience on this earth. This longing for communion is written into us as human beings, created in His image and likeness. Our intentionality in helping adults cultivate friendship helps them experience God, even if in a very small way–something especially valuable for adults in their 30s, and more broadly, for all of us!

* = note, I’m only half-way through…so maybe the rest will be boring 😉 just saying…it’s always a possibility 🙂

Growing Disciples: From the Home to Adulthood

The amount of research on what “keeps kids religious” can be dizzying. Yet, this research matters, not because we need to “keep” kids a certain way, but because God has a personal plan for each one of them, and desires a relationship with every person that grows throughout one’s entire life.

How to Keep Kids Growing as Disciples into Adulthood. That’s the Question.

When we consider this most generally, the conclusions aren’t shocking:

In research using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, sociologists Christopher Bader and Scott Desmond found that children of parents who believe that religion is very important and display their commitment by attending services are most likely to transmit religiosity to their children.…One of the strongest factors associated with older teens keeping their faith as young adults was having parents who talked about religion and spirituality at home, Smith said.

Other key factors included having parents for whom personal faith is important and who demonstrate that faith through attending services. Teens whose parents attended worship with them were especially likely to be religiously active as young adults.

Among related findings, parents from religious traditions that in general promote greater commitment and encourage discussing faith outside the sanctuary also were more likely to have children who remained active in their faith as young adults. (NSYR, HuffPo, 2014)

Pulling out practical, concrete examples–that can be harder. Fortunately, additional studies and reflections provide clues.

Attending Religious Services

A LifeWay study of 2,000 Protestant households found that while attendance does have an impact on fostering discipleship into adulthood,

It wasn’t just that parents took their kids to church (where “professional clergy” could feed them spiritually), but that the children were included and integrated into the church through the avenue of service. The habit of serving others in the church and community likely formed these young adults in a way that kept them from identifying merely as a churchgoing “consumer,” but instead as a contributor to the building up of God’s people.

Talking About Religion and Spirituality At Home

Brad Klingele, a teacher (and former Youth Minister), writes:

As educated Catholics, we all to try to help our children to have an adequate ability to think clearly, to analyze, and to gain an accurate understanding of the world and of our faith. My family spends countless moments discussing events, ideas, and our faith. Each day presents opportunities for intellectual formation. We value abstract reasoning. Most educated Catholics conceptualize passing on the faith as participating in the sacraments and passing on the truths of the faith.

The truths of the faith. To hold something to be true, we tend to think that we have an understanding that we can articulate in words. Almost everything about our culture encourages us to think of truth as an idea, a concept. Our educational culture since the Enlightenment encourages verbal and written articulation. Outside of encouraging weekly Mass and some service work, we think of passing on the truths of the Catholic faith as passing on a correct conceptual understanding. A dear family friend, Fr. Joe, calls it Catholicism as Philosophy.

What Klingele senses is a challenge for many–including/especially parents who are very passionate or well-formed in the Christian faith). An overly conceptual understanding of truth (=”ideas”) is not necessarily talking about being a disciple of Jesus Christ in a way that children at different ages and stages desire.

As Marc Cardaronella writes, “Articulating faith means internalizing it, owning it, and making it a part of you. That requires dialogue.” In the study, “Understanding Former Young Catholics,” Nicolette Manglos-Weber and Christian Smith find that “narrow and rigid viewpoints” are often viewed with suspicion by emerging young adults. Talking about beliefs in a way that is affirmative and open to dialogue not only helps form young people in the faith, but also models how to be passionately in love with Jesus and respect the different beliefs of others. [If you’re familiar with Alpha, think of it as an adaptation of Alpha culture in the home.]

Fortunately 🙂 when it comes to talking about religion and spirituality in the home, it’s not all up to us as parents! God communicates with our children, just as He does with us (Praise the Lord for that). In the LifeWay Protestant household research:

The biggest factor was Bible reading. Children who regularly read the Bible while they were growing up were more likely to have a vibrant spiritual life once they became adults.

This statistic doesn’t surprise me. God’s Word is powerful. The Bible lays out the great story of our world and helps us interpret our lives and make decisions within the framework of a biblical worldview. Bible reading is a constant reminder that we live as followers of God. Our King has spoken. He reigns over us. We want to walk in his ways. (Trevin Wax, “Parents, Take Note…”)

The inspired Sacred Scriptures are a powerful gift to us as human beings who so crave communication. God hands on His very-self to us in the “wellspring” of Sacred Scripture (Dei Verbum, para. 2, 9). When our kids read it (or have it read to them), God works.

Prayer also offers the opportunity for God to speak into the family, including kids. Manglos-Weber and Smith found that among young adults who were continuing to grow as disciples in the Church, 56% prayed alone frequently, compared to only 33% of those who left the Church praying alone regularly. Prayer can take on a wide range of forms, whatever works for your children’s ages is a great place to start. Singing together is also prayer–the LifeWay study found that listening to Christian music ranked highly among Protestant youth who continued to practice their faith as young adults.

Cultivating habits of prayer and Bible reading allow the Holy Spirit to speak and move in powerful ways, to direct our “talking” to what is most important for each of us, in our families, right now–and encourage our children to delight in listening and conversing with God our Perfect Father, through His Son, in the power of the Holy Spirit directly.

Faith Outside the Sanctuary

None of us can be perfect parents. It’s a fact. But regardless of our challenges, stumbles, and hard-times as parents, unconditionally loving our children is essential. It’s our humble imitation of God’s love for each of us. It builds the basis of trust necessary for everything else, “Otherwise, your efforts fall on deaf ears” (Cardaronella).

As Manglos-Weber and Smith explain:

Emotional closeness between Catholic parents and their teenage children—especially with fathers—influences whether teens remain Catholic into their 20s. Greater relational distance between parents and teens increases the chance that the latter will leave the Church in emerging adulthood.

Well before the teenage years, imitation plays a significant role–do we as parents model a faith our children would logically want to imitate? i.e. does following Jesus bring us joy? make us pleasant to be around? lead us to love in illogical and moving ways?

Klingele reflects on a conversation with another father:

Phil and I agreed that we cannot hope to help our children to stay Catholic when they are cut off from the people with whom Jesus is closest…If Jesus is closest to those in need, and our only connection with people occurs across the ocean of a soup kitchen pot, we are not close to Jesus. We cannot find our Lord when we are absent from him, and he is with the poor…When our kids realize we are equally poor, and that we must continue the Eucharist through the sharing of our very lives with our brethren, our kids will meet and stay with Jesus.

He recognizes that if he does not live a commitment to what the Gospel is outside of Mass, then not only is his life as a disciple muted, his children’s growth as disciples of Jesus Christ will be stunted.

Concluding Examen

Much to ponder–I say that with great humility as a parent of young children who remind me all of the time about what imitation means.

Due to the writings of Sherry Weddell, “intentional” has become the ubiquitous adjective on “disciples.” And that’s not a bad thing. It’s true. And, extra-true 😉 when it comes to forming disciples starting in childhood and continuing through adulthood. The intentionality in homes and parish communities matters.

In conclusion, a set of personal questions from Trevin Wax for any household or parish to pray with, ponder, and discuss from time to time:

• What kind of culture do we want in our homes and churches?
• What space are we creating for our children to flourish?
• How are we rooting our families in God’s Word?
• How are we modeling prayer and repentance?
• What does faithfulness look like in our home?
• What are the songs that are in our hearts and on our lips?
• How are we fulfilling the Great Commission?

 

Image: “New Year, New Sprout,” via Flickr tomscy2000

Update 2/16/2018: Here’s an excellent summary of another recent research project on the topic, “Going, Going, Gone: The Dynamics of Disaffiliation in Young Catholics.” Thanks Jerry Windley-Daoust for posting!