Conversations with Jesus: Example #2

 

How often do we have conversations in ministry and wonder, was I imitating Christ? 

Yes, it’s an impossible standard. But, by examining the way we converse with others through the lens of “customer service” can help us relate to others and communicate more like Jesus did during his earthly ministry. A mentor once suggested these questions:

  • What is it I’m trying to communicate?
  • What do I hope to get out of this interaction?
  • What would Jesus do in this conversation?
  • What’s His heart for the person?

Last month in Example #1 we looked at a public scene, Jesus’ first synagogue sermon. Today we’re looking at a more private example, Jesus’ one-on-one conversation with Peter in the presence of a few others, while fishing (Luke 5:1-11).

Jesus begins his conversation with Peter, “Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch” (5:4). The intention of Jesus’ words is to empower. To build. To encourage the experience of success. To encourage one who has been disappointed before at this task.

Now, how might this intention have come across to Peter? He replies, “Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets” (5:5). “Master,” a title for an authority figure one is obligated to recognize–not the phrase a follower or true-believer would use. It’s almost a bit begrudging. And before Peter gives his “yes” (where Peter reminds Jesus again that he’s only doing this to honor his “command”) he subtly reminds Jesus that he (who is actually a trained and experienced fisherman) has already attempted this.

But ultimately, Peter was open to the positive intention of Jesus’ heart. Peter assumed Jesus’ good will and gave him a chance. Peter chooses the path of taking upon himself Jesus’ yoke (Lk 7:36-50), which means he’s yielding control to Jesus, letting the ball stay in Jesus’ court for at least a moment–even if he hasn’t fully bought in to the direction this is headed.

We see here that Jesus continues to move forward. What Jesus wants to communicate is deeper than “winning” this first exchange with Peter. Jesus shows some tactical patience here, to let the situation develop further, rather than assuming his entire message needs to be heard and understood right away.

This works for Jesus because his actions then evoke trust. After the miraculous catch of so many fish their nets nearly break (5:6), Peter drops to his knees at the feet of Jesus and exclaims, “Depart from me Lord for I am a sinful man” (5:8). Lord is a title of expectant trust. A “lord” provides and protects–quite a shift from Peter’s initial acknowledgement of Jesus as merely Master.

Trust is now present in the conversation. While we might hope for many things, many good intentions to come from our conversations with others–trust is a baseline. Trust makes those other hopes become realities. This example shows that while what Jesus aimed for in the communication has happened–it didn’t merely happen because of his words. He did a miracle, an obvious one (to Peter). Jesus earned trust, and because of that his message was heard and acted upon, as Peter (plus James and John) leave their belongings on the shoreline, and become Jesus’ followers. 

Jesus had a firm hope for Peter at the start, but he allowed the conversation to develop. Jesus didn’t push back on Peter’s initial response, but moved forward to earn greater trust. Jesus’ heart was for the potential in Peter from his first words of encouragement, through Peter’s rebuff, right through to Peter’s final acceptance and entry into a trusting relationship with his Lord.

brooklyn_museum_-_the_miraculous_draught_of_fishes_28la_pc3aache_miraculeuse29_-_james_tissot_-_overall
James Tissot, “The Miraculous Draught of Fishes (La pêche miraculeuse)” (The Brooklyn Museum)

 

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Called to a Thick Sense of Empathy

Chris Adkins, director of the Deloitte Center for Ethical Leadership at the University of Notre Dame’s Mendoza College of Business, characterizes the brain as a “mental trilogy” of cognition (thinking), emotion (feeling), and motivation (wanting).

In ministry, we’re probably more open than most to the importance of emotions and motivation. Yet so much of leadership development focuses only on thinking. To be truly empathetic, we need to integrate all three of these dimensions of the mind:

an empathetic response isn’t simply sympathy — feeling for someone. It also isn’t compassion — feeling with someone. Empathy means feeling as someone and thinking as someone.

The word “seeing” is also important because it focuses on imagining another’s experience.

“Empathy involves your imagination, seeing another and their world, in your mind’s eye,” he says. “Can you actually walk into their world and see what they see, hear what they hear?” [Read the rest, here…]

True empathy motivates helping others, improves our communication with various groups and individuals, identify “blind spots,” and in the end, stay curious about learning from the people around us. To enter fully and imaginatively into the great Biblical narrative of salvation history, and to experience how Jesus is speaking to us now, through those texts–well that takes empathy too.

Next time I’m in a tough ministerial situation, I’ll try and remember to not only feel for and with that person, but to take on my own tiny slice of Jesus’ incredible gift of the incarnation and truly be open to walking into their world.

See
Image by Steve Johnson, via Flickr, cc-by-2.0

Pre-Evangelization Inklings: Tough Mudder

Why would anyone pay to go through messy, physically demanding obstacle courses and “comically extreme” challenges (Fast Company, Jun 2017)?

Indeed. Why?

From Tough Mudder CEO, Will Dean, it’s got something to do with ritual and community.  As he explains, Tough Mudder events,

“are the pilgrimage, the big, annual festivals, like Christmas and Easter, if you use Christianity as an example. But then we also have the gym, which becomes the local church, the community gathering hub. You have the media, which is a little like praying. Then there’s the apparel, which is a little like wearing your cross or your head scarf or any other form of religious apparel.”

Together, this creates a social experience with a profound “shared sense of purpose,” that many in our North American culture lack in our day-to-day lives. Coming together to achieve a common goal is essential. Many Tough Mudder obstacles simply cannot be completed without receiving help and/or helping others through.

This experience of common effort and shared victory is indeed counter-cultural. Will Dean recounts a triathlon where, “he needed help pulling down the back zipper of his wet suit as he transitioned from swimming to cycling” and “asked fellow racers for help and was stunned when no one offered any: They didn’t want to add precious seconds to their time.” This is what life, and even church life can seem like for many today. An inherent world of competition or self-interest, rather than a world that is gift, a world with others give selflessly, expecting nothing in return.

The success of the Tough Mudder company reveals that it’s quite possible to gather and attract people by offering shared experience of gift and giving, ritual rhythms of life, and community doing the difficult–together. These are longings our culture produces. The question for us is, how can our ministries and parishes connect these desires to the reality of Christian discipleship? Share your thoughts and experiences!

Tough Mudder
Image by zapmole756 via Flickr, CC-BY-NC-2.0

 

Customer Service for Missionary Disciples

Customer Service on Day 357
Manchester City Library via Flickr; CC BY-SA 2.0

As leaders, evangelists, and/or missionary disciples, we’re all in customer service.

Now this is strictly a metaphor, because as Christians we’ve got nothing to sell (in fact, we’re sharing the free gift of God in Jesus Christ) and aim to foster, not consumers, but empowered, Spirit-filled Christ-followers. To use the metaphor, how’s your customer service?

Sometimes it’s easy to fall into the habit in ministerial leadership or evangelism of thinking only of the “big wins.” But what of the small, everyday victories of a person satisfied, known, heard, and loved? These too are vitally important, as these moments reveal the fruits of the Holy Spirit in us, our ability to participate in God’s self-giving love, and our growth in virtue.

How does Jesus model this for us?

Example 1: Jesus’ Public Preaching Debut (Lk 4:16-30)

Not long after his baptism in the Jordan and temptation in the wilderness, Jesus is given the opportunity for some liturgical preaching in the local synagogue. After the proclamation of the Scripture (which turns out to be from the prophet Isaiah), he declares: “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing” (Lk 4:21). The assembly hears “gracious words” and Luke reports (literally, in the Greek) that they “witnessed him [Jesus]”–they fully experienced the moment (Lk 4:22). Many English translations give it a positive spin (i.e. “they spoke well of him [Jesus]”), but we see this isn’t quite the case since the hearers want to get rid of Jesus by throwing him off a cliff, and Jesus himself turns to the proverbial wisdom, “no prophet is acceptable in his own country” (Lk 4:23-24).

What can we learn about Jesus’ “customer service”? His hopes for communication here? His heart and concern for the people and situation he enters into?

First, Jesus has Good News. Jesus has a Yes–glad tidings to the poor, liberty to captives, sight to the blind (Lk 4:1819; Is 61:12; Is 58:6).

But, even when we have a new yes to share, we shouldn’t expect to immediately please everyone. Sometimes in ministry, this can throw us for a loop, causing us to become defensive, cynical, or disheartened–because we’ve got something good, something needed, something that should bring joy and excitement–yet we experience rejection or discord.

Take-away #1: Jesus doesn’t change or soft-pedal his Good News. Though his “gracious” words aren’t well received (because they are grace for the “wrong people,” you know–those outsider, non-believers with a totally different culture) he still shares them.

Take-away #2: Jesus is okay with the fact that his communication for the better leads to “wondering,” confusion, and/or uncertainty. In ministry, we’re being unrealistic if we expect simple agree or disagree responses from those we communicate with. Those who wonder or express confusion aren’t enemies of the cause–they might be in transition, or on the way, if we as communicators continue to reach out to them. If we avoid setting fixed boundaries of “supporters” and “road-blockers” within our organizations.

Take-away #3: Jesus doesn’t verbally, personally confront those who disagree. He expresses the reality of the situation–that challenging words are generally not well received close to home, to those with the greatest perception of “loss” from a change of the status quo–but does not attack anyone personally. Jesus’ heart is for the future conversion, in purely human images, a “customer service” oriented toward the long-term.

Those who heard Jesus’ sermon that day, they might not have been ready for Jesus’ love for them. Yet, Jesus’ interactions with them reveal that he wants to hear them, nonetheless. Jesus wants them to experience being known, even if they’re not ready to accept or agree. It’s a level of “customer service” (to put it mildly!) we can all aim for as we communicate vision, strategy, and more in our ministries.

Love Seeing This on a Parish Website

I was doing some scouting for an upcoming vacation and saw this on a parish webpage:

Whether you were raised CatholicProtestantatheistagnostic, or have never even considered church, religion, and spirituality, there is a place for you here.

Love it. Thanks Church of Saint Patrick!

Alpha Recipe Deep Dive: Meal and Conversation

Don’t mess with the Alpha recipe. 

If you’re gearing up to run Alpha, I hope you’ve heard that message. It’s an important one. Don’t tinker with the Alpha recipe. Don’t think that your situation is “special” and people don’t need open conversation, time for a meal, or shallow-entry music, etc.

But why? What’s so special about a meal? About open conversation without “teaching”?

  • A meal is hospitality, plain and simple: whether catered or home-cooked it’s giving of one’s own resources to others, requiring nothing in return.
  • For many in the U.S., meals are inconvenient…a burden of time and coordination that seems a bridge too far for many or an implied pressure. By providing this, we’re giving nourishment beyond the physical.
  • A meal and conversation is credibility…it’s saying I’m willing to sacrifice time (something of peak value in our culture!) to simply be with you.
  • It’s face-to-face. It’s a level playing field. Many people, due to past hurts and barriers, will never experience the sanctuary or Mass this way [at least at first!]
  • Teaching says, “I know” (and you don’t). Conversation says, all of our experiences matter. And this isn’t fake. To God, all of our experiences do matter. God wants to gather up and redeem them all in Him!
Dinner party table decoration
by Elin via Flickr (https://flic.kr/p/8ZFQAR)

Why Ministries Need Learning Cultures

Why does ministry inherently lend itself to a learning culture? As Tim Shapiro, president of the Indianapolis Center for Congregations, explains:

For a congregation to achieve or accomplish something new, it’s not just a matter of doing something. It’s almost always a matter of learning to do something new. There are many things that happen in a faith community in which something new doesn’t have to be learned. If it’s summertime and the air conditioners need new filters, chances are somebody has done that before. You just have the volunteer do it or call the air conditioning company. The congregation has achieved an objective, as simple as it might be, but they haven’t had to learn to do something new.

If it’s a matter of consequence, congregations don’t just do new things. They learn to do new things — learning that is a durable change of behavior or attitudes or ways of thinking.

For instance, imagine a congregation is seeking to start a new Wednesday evening program. This new program is designed not only for the elementary school children in their congregation but the elementary school children who go to the school two blocks away. It’s the first time the church has reached out to that school. So the congregation is going to need to learn durable new ways of behaving, thinking and feeling about such an endeavor.

howyourcongregationlearns_coverThis idea of behaviors, values, and ways of thinking–that’s culture in a nutshell. This means, to do something new, something of new or great vision, we need the right culture. We can’t avoid it:

Congregations, like most human communities, need to learn how to do new things, just as a family learns new things when an infant enters that system, and corporations that are trying to earn profits have to learn new things to keep up with the markets. Read the rest, here…